IHSAN XAALAAT

ryanthiggins:

Monogamy.

I’m sort of kidding. A large proportion of the population (including my entire host family) practices monogamy. However, polygamy is not out-of-bounds or even really that abnormal.

See, under Senegalese law, when a man marries his first wife, they must choose whether the marriage is…

There is a huge difference between culture and religion. In Senegal (may be different in other places), the practice of polygamy is a religious one. There is a national law to choose polygamy or monogamy because its an Islam nation mostly. Polygamy is a permission given to men of marriageable age to marry 1, 2, 3 OR 4 wives under certain conditions. These conditions are that the man has to be financially capable of providing for his wives and children, and also be able to treat his wives equally. It is understood that as humanbeings we cannot love two people equally, but the Islamic ruling is that although you may love one wive more than the other, you can treat them/provide for them in the same manner, especially when they are in each other’s company or the company of others. 

The reason why Islam granted this practice (although it exist pre-Islam, all over the world, and still today even among non-Muslims for different reasons) is very difficult for foreigners, especially Westerners to understand. My understanding is that having multiple wives enhances a community by decreasing the number of women who are unmarried. The population of men is smaller than that of women, the educational achievement necessary to take care of a family financially and morally is highest among men especially in non-Western nations. Also, the adultery rate is very high among men, if many were not allowed to marry other women, they would be sleeping around anyways. These are very touchy reasons I have just listed, because there are exceptions of course. Not all men cheat, not all men need lots of women, etc.

The Quran doesn’t say that a man MUST marry more than one women, its a choice. Those who are not fully in-tune to the religion don’t understand this, but there are a lot of people who understand it as something that is necessary. I am going to list some scenarios that exist and state whether they are Islamic or not, and mind you I am not a religious scholar, just my opinion and minimal understanding, I could be wrong, so feel free to ask others.

As a Senegalese and a Muslim, I know men who have married more than one woman for many reasons. The West is a very individualistic society (that’s why the romeo-juliet kind of relationships is the norm) but countries like Senegal are very communal, when you marry (this is also religious) you marry an entire community and inherit new father & mom (inlaws), uncles, aunts, sisters, etc. Just to put it out there, I can definitely say that there are many people who abuse this polygamy ruling, and turn a divine religious permission into something very selfish, cultural, and demeaning. 

1. Some men marry other wives just to teach the first one a lesson (anti-Islamic)

2. Some marry other wives to show they are macho, and please their homies (anti-Islamic)

3. Some in-laws propose a new wife to their son because they don’t like the first one (Un-Islamic)

4. Some marry other wives because they want to, and are capable (Islamic)

5. Some marry other wives because the first was infertile, or unable to achieve other duties of a wife not just for her husband but for her new family as well (Islamic) 

…….AND MANY OTHERS!

The West has a tendency to believe that any cultural practice outside of their own is uncivilized, demeaning, undemocratic, etc. Just because monogamy is the norm in this country does not mean polygamy is wrong. To believe that is very selfish because you have not lived that culture. Even when a girl marries through arranged marriage, its considered demeaning and abusive…yet that marriage could be more fulfilling to both parties involved than a couple in the states who have been dating for ten years, got married and the marriage ends one year later because….something was missing! 

I have been reading many of your posts, because I currently live in the states and miss my homeland. And also because I have been in the US almost ALLL my life, and have seen/ heard many ignorant knowledge/ understanding of my homeland of Africa. This hurts me a lot because in my mind am like “I wish they knew what its really like, or went there”. And here you are, someone who is there, yet you don’t fail to make un-researched statement. There are many Christians and Catholics who don’t believe in polygamy in Senegal….and they still live the Senegalese culture. There is an overall Senegalese culture, and the individual religious cultures, and even the individually ethnic cultures. A Wolof Christian Senegalese doesn’t necessarily believe or practice the exact same culture as a Toucouleur Muslim Senegalese.

Senegal is more complicated than that, Africa is much more complicated then that. I don’t remember if you are there as an exchange student, study abroad, volunteer mission, or what have you. But I hope that with the privilege to actually go to this country and many others, you learn to first and foremost remove your WESTERN LENS and look at their world through their eyes first! Many of your posts have been positive, and I don’t expect you to like/ understand or applaud every issue you come across, but at least research the issue before sharing it with the world. There are a lot of people in this world who are very quick to believe everything they read without critically analyzing from all areas first. 

Every time you are about to write something (especially if its touchy/ controversial) take a step back and ask people, not just your host family, but your teachers, classmates, friends, a religious leader you have seen a few times, the person at the corner store, the person selling you baquette every morning, anyone! This is research that is not only beneficial and fair to you, but also to your readers.  

I apologize if I came on too strong, I just try to ensure Africa is depicted in a better light each and every day.